Growing up in the 90s, I thought it was ok to be single. To be perfectly honest, I thought that being single was as good a state as being in a relationship or being married. Every state of being when it came to one's relational side - whether they were spoken for or not - was fine, as long as they were happy.
But now I'm grown (actually grown/forever young lol!) and I've realised that a lot of people have a problem with being single. Now when I say a lot, I mean that I've measured this by people who I know who are not single, people's attitudes to being single and what people say about being single vs. what they actually do when they are single. The results? Singleness doesn't seem to be in fashion anymore. Hence my subtitle, "Being Single in the Noughties [2000AD]". Its not too scientific but its reliable, just take a look around you and ask the same questions of the people you know. And if you find any different, let me know chuck!
Maybe I should have guessed this earlier because our generation has so many tools on hand to help us get out of the state of being single. For instance, dating websites. When these first came out, people may have thought that they are only for those of the 'desperate and lonely' kind. But nowadays, it seems to be more socially acceptable for practically anyone to be affiliated with a dating website. In fact dating websites can now be sectioned and classified according to criteria like race and religion. Sites such as Match.com are just the tip of the iceberg.
Then there's the obvious way I should have guessed that being single is no longer trendy: music. A few years ago Natasha Bedingfield sang about the joys of being single and that it was a choice and not a case of being the last to be picked. And the tune was aptly named Single. And that may have made a lot of people feel good, but at the same time it had a lot of feminist and independent vibes about needing not needing a man for anything - and that admission is even worse than just keeping quiet and living single! Fast forward to a few months ago and Beyonce is telling us that someone needs to "Put a ring on it" in Single Ladies. Are you feeling the pressure yet?
Now, I don't rely on the web or the music charts to dictate to me where I should be relationally as a person. However such mediums do let us know what others are thinking or what they want us to be thinking and what they want us to do about it. And this begs the question, "Am I ok this way?" Am I ok being single in this day and age where its so simple and easy to be in a relationship? Am I ok with getting mixed messages from singers who tell me to go out there and find someone and be happy when I turn on one channel, when news of their divorce is breaking on the next channel? Am I ok being led by my flesh and not my heart and mind for fear of being alone?
Everyone wants to share their lives with someone; hopefully in longer rather than shorter terms too. But we need not conform to the patterns of this world, and instead renew our minds so that we can live out God's will for our lives (Romans 12:2).
But now I'm grown (actually grown/forever young lol!) and I've realised that a lot of people have a problem with being single. Now when I say a lot, I mean that I've measured this by people who I know who are not single, people's attitudes to being single and what people say about being single vs. what they actually do when they are single. The results? Singleness doesn't seem to be in fashion anymore. Hence my subtitle, "Being Single in the Noughties [2000AD]". Its not too scientific but its reliable, just take a look around you and ask the same questions of the people you know. And if you find any different, let me know chuck!
Maybe I should have guessed this earlier because our generation has so many tools on hand to help us get out of the state of being single. For instance, dating websites. When these first came out, people may have thought that they are only for those of the 'desperate and lonely' kind. But nowadays, it seems to be more socially acceptable for practically anyone to be affiliated with a dating website. In fact dating websites can now be sectioned and classified according to criteria like race and religion. Sites such as Match.com are just the tip of the iceberg.
Then there's the obvious way I should have guessed that being single is no longer trendy: music. A few years ago Natasha Bedingfield sang about the joys of being single and that it was a choice and not a case of being the last to be picked. And the tune was aptly named Single. And that may have made a lot of people feel good, but at the same time it had a lot of feminist and independent vibes about needing not needing a man for anything - and that admission is even worse than just keeping quiet and living single! Fast forward to a few months ago and Beyonce is telling us that someone needs to "Put a ring on it" in Single Ladies. Are you feeling the pressure yet?
Now, I don't rely on the web or the music charts to dictate to me where I should be relationally as a person. However such mediums do let us know what others are thinking or what they want us to be thinking and what they want us to do about it. And this begs the question, "Am I ok this way?" Am I ok being single in this day and age where its so simple and easy to be in a relationship? Am I ok with getting mixed messages from singers who tell me to go out there and find someone and be happy when I turn on one channel, when news of their divorce is breaking on the next channel? Am I ok being led by my flesh and not my heart and mind for fear of being alone?
Everyone wants to share their lives with someone; hopefully in longer rather than shorter terms too. But we need not conform to the patterns of this world, and instead renew our minds so that we can live out God's will for our lives (Romans 12:2).
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